Sometimes being a teenager makes you want to die

Lately my life has been feeling like a drag and the worst part is, I don't even know why. I'm emotional unstable, the slightest thing can make me cry, even when I watch cold case I have to hold back the tears. My grades at school are dropping and nothing seems to be able to make me genuinly happy.

The moment we entered this week I felt this was gonna be a horrible week, it probably has something to do with the fact that friday's my birthday. Yesterday was just...well, a drag and today was just aweful. A girl that I used to consider to be my friend went all bitch on me and almost beated me up my art teacher has nothing but stupid comments about me and just a few minutes ago I found out a girl that used to be in my class has cancer.

Right now I just feel so much hate and pain and I don't know what to do with it. I cry more than healthy and...It just seems like I can't be happy anymore. I really just want to be able to say "My life is perfect to me and I'm happy." and genuinly mean it. Well, I guess I'll just suck it up like everything else.

That's what makes you stronger, right?

but the girls they pull my hair and with the boys I can't relate

People hate me, I hate people it's a perfect relationship until the school decides to put all those people in the same room with me. Yes, after my winter break I will be stuck with every single person at my school that I hate. I'm already having a nervous breakdown, my mom better go look for a psychatrist.

I know I may sound like a total Bitch with a capital B but I really can't handel this anymore. Things are going exactly like they went in middelschool and to be honest I never thought I would survive that but I did cause people told me High School would be better, well it isn't. Of course the first 2 years were amazing because I had great friends but now they all went another way and I'm just here stuck with the people from middleschool, like they're following me or something.

Can't wait till graduation, because after that I'll move to New York and live the life I always wanted. I won't be known as that fat, nerdy girl that everyone disliked. No, I will be known for how amazing I am because I stay true to myself and won't go out selling myself like most girls at my school.

I'm just so freakin' tired of all this shit, I just can't handle it anymore.
just 42 months left till graduation, just 1260(?) more days and I'll be gone.
I'll be gone from all this shit and live the life I want.

Atleast that's what I hope

In the future

A few minutes ago I decided I wasn't gonna blog about random stuff that's going on anymore because I know it's not interessting and boring. Instead of that I wanna start talking more about music, books, friendship, things that matter you know? Not the things that I did today, no, just the things that go through my mind and that I need to tell you.

How did I get this idea? Well, Dianna Agron inspired me. A few hours ago she asked us this on tumblr;

"Send me a message (to my inbox) with a few paragraphs about something artistic or a movie/book/song/album/life experience….things that means something to you….enough to want to write/share about it. Attach high res pictures or videos with sources. Treat it as a magazine submission. Stay positive. All part of You, Me & Charlie. Which is something you’ll know even more about soon! Perfect your answers, and send me the very best of what you’ve got! Also include a short bio and photo of yourself! X "

and so I did.

I talked about music and how important it is to me and that's when I realized how much I love writing.
You're probably thinking "but what you're doing now is writing too!". I know that but I didn't love it, it felt like a chore. But when I was writing that thing for Dianna, I actually had fun because I was writing about something that I KNOW and that I LOVE.

So yeah, those kind of blogs are the ones you're gonna be seeing here in the future.

Have a nice day :)

xxx Jana

What's going on lately?

To answer that question, nothing. Nothing's going on, that's how boring my life is. What can I say? I have no life. But lately I've been getting new friends, correction, internet friends. I met a 2 amazing girls on Polyvore, one of them I met just a few days ago but I already consider her as a good friend and the other one...we have soooo many in commen, I think that if we met in real life we would be best friends.

Another thing I've been doing is figuring out my style. I realized my style is VERY season 2 Quinn Fabray and that since I lost the weight I can totally wear a body con dress, I'm so frickin' proud of myself! But anyways...I've also considered going blonde but my friends won't allow me and my sister said it wasn't a very good idea (she's a hairdresser BTW) so she's probably gonna give me blonde highlights wich I'm very excited about.

Oh! Before I forget, I made some new friends at school wich I think is great! I also have a new table at lunch with those new friends but unfortunatly we have to share it with weird people I dislike. I mean, seriously, they scare the hell out of me for some weird reason.

And I don't know if I told you but I've been thinking about sports I could do. I wanted cheerleading but my mom won't let me and then I thought batton twirling because my mom can't say no to that since she did that when she was younger but I can't find any clubs near my town. So now I'm probably gonna go ice skating or something cause I love it and I'm really good at it, and I think it's a good sport for a girl too ( even though I totally skate with ice hockey skates, lol I can't skate with regular skates xD)

The last thing I wanted to say is, I'm obsessed with Wicked lately. I don't know why but I just love the music and the plot and even though I never actually saw it I know I will love it. Also, I'm totally on Elphaba's side, just sayin' xD.

But yeah that was it for this blog, I have a huge headache so sorry if it's pretty lame but yeah...
Oh and if I don't survive Halloween, I love you! Don't forget that :)

xoxo Jana

the most random blog ever

Before I start I just gotta say this will be the most random blog in the history of my bloggs...

Hey everyone :)
it been a while since my last blog, I apologize, it's just I have a really boring life so I never really know what to blog about.

Now the first thing I wanna talk about is my new skincare routine...blah blah blah it already sounds boring but I gotta tell you about the thing I have been using to keep my skin clear and pretty. It's Acneplus;

this thing is absolutely magical... I have been using it for about 3 weeks now and after the first weke my skin cleared up like that, seriously I'm not even kidding. The only annoying thing is that if you forget to use it one time your skin won't be as pretty the next day but for the rest I adore this thing. I definatley recommend this to everyone who has acne.

Now on to something else, have you people tried to curl your hair with a flatiron...It just won't work! I even burned myself :(
It doesn't matter how much I try it just doesn't work on me!

Oh oh oh I gotta inform you guys on my newest obsession xD
lately I've been really into anything that's girly so that means, fairytales, pink, dresses, braids, floral prints... really everything like that...
don't even ask me why xD

so that was my random post, really boring I know but I just don't wanna let this blog die :(

xoxo Jana

Proof of how weird me and my friends are

Hey guys :)

So I don't think you know this about me but I'm NOT religious at all. Even though my school is part of a nunnery I'm not religious nor will I ever be. But today me and my friends thought it would be fun to create our own religion, we called it; Agronisme. Why? Because we're weird, that's why. Oh, and our godess is of cours Dianna Agron because we love her. Our New Year is April 30th, her birthday. Our holy place is the glee studio's and Savannah (lol you know, just like Mekka xD) our prayer is "Mary has a little lamb" and our holy animal is a lamb. Yes, I'm gonna convert you all! You can see how weird me and my friends really are and how much we love Dianna Agron, she's my rolemodel. Oh and our song is It's a mans world! Just sayin'.

Now over to the not so weird stuff, if that's possible...

Today was well, weird... My school is just weird, my city is weird, my COUNTRY is weird! Well, there are guys at my school who just annoy the hell out of me, they asked me where I got my boots and if I wanted to buy a leather jacked that matched them, I was like "What?!" And than there's also the thing with my best friend, that she's not allowed to switch classes so she's with me for all of our classes.

BTW, Glee is coming back tomorrow for all you Americans, for me it's wednesday, BOO HOO!!!! But yeah, don't spoil anything for me until I watched it, kay? :3

xoxo Jana

TAG: Things that my favorite character teached me

Okay so basically it's just a tag where you have to pick a character that you love from a show that you love, it doesn't matter what show. And you write down 10 things (or more) that that character told you


Show: Glee
Favorite Character; Lucy Quinn Fabray :3

1. Stand up for what you believe in
She stood up for glee a few times, didn't she? :3
2. Being blond doesn't mean you're dumb
Yeah...I knew this before but still.
3. Girls are not less than guys
Quinn is a feminist and thanks to her I really started becoming one too. I mean seriously girls deserve the same rights as guys!
4. Never give up
I don't really know how to explain this but yeah...
5. Don't get pregnant when you're 15
lol pretty self explanatory
6. Don't cheat on your boyfriends cause karma will come and get you
To quote the lovely Quinn Fabray "First time I cheated I got pregnant second time I got mono, I think the universe is trying to tell me something."
7. Sometimes change can be good
She changed from being Lucy to being Quinn and I read so many people saying that it was horrible and that she didn't love herself but I understand why she did it. Would you like getting bullied everyday? Would you like coming home with tearfilled eyes EVERYDAY? I don't think so, she didn't want that to happen again that's why she changed, if she didn't get bullied she wouldn't have changed and I completly understand why she did it cause I've been there.
8. Don't be afraid to speak up
Quinn isn't afraid to speak her mind and she will open her mouth to sa what she thinks no matter if it hurts cause it's just the truth, I admire her for that :)
9. Being healthy is better than being popular
She told Mercedes to be healthy right? Well I think she's totally right because being healty is so much more important than being popular, don't you think?
10. Having friends that love you for who you are is better than being popular
Yes! Quinn would choose glee over anything because they are her real friends(I know she's not in the club in s3 but whatever) they were the only ones that didn't dump her when she got pregnant and the only ones that will always keep faith in her no matter what happens.

Of cours Quinn isn't perfect but I will love her no matter what. I just hope she's gonna be happy in season 3 cause she had so many horrible years it would kill me if this year was just as horrible :(

xoxo Jana