In the head of a Belgian girl

Sometimes being a teenager makes you want to die

2012-01-17T14:19:00.000-08:00

Lately my life has been feeling like a drag and the worst part is, I don't even know why. I'm emotional unstable, the slightest thing can make me cry, even when I watch cold case I have to hold back the tears. My grades at school are dropping and nothing seems to be able to make me genuinly happy.

The moment we entered this week I felt this was gonna be a horrible week, it probably has something to do with the fact that friday's my birthday. Yesterday was just...well, a drag and today was just aweful. A girl that I used to consider to be my friend went all bitch on me and almost beated me up my art teacher has nothing but stupid comments about me and just a few minutes ago I found out a girl that used to be in my class has cancer.

Right now I just feel so much hate and pain and I don't know what to do with it. I cry more than healthy and...It just seems like I can't be happy anymore. I really just want to be able to say "My life is perfect to me and I'm happy." and genuinly mean it. Well, I guess I'll just suck it up like everything else.

That's what makes you stronger, right?

but the girls they pull my hair and with the boys I can't relate

2011-12-23T12:48:00.000-08:00

People hate me, I hate people it's a perfect relationship until the school decides to put all those people in the same room with me. Yes, after my winter break I will be stuck with every single person at my school that I hate. I'm already having a nervous breakdown, my mom better go look for a psychatrist.

I know I may sound like a total Bitch with a capital B but I really can't handel this anymore. Things are going exactly like they went in middelschool and to be honest I never thought I would survive that but I did cause people told me High School would be better, well it isn't. Of course the first 2 years were amazing because I had great friends but now they all went another way and I'm just here stuck with the people from middleschool, like they're following me or something.

Can't wait till graduation, because after that I'll move to New York and live the life I always wanted. I won't be known as that fat, nerdy girl that everyone disliked. No, I will be known for how amazing I am because I stay true to myself and won't go out selling myself like most girls at my school.

I'm just so freakin' tired of all this shit, I just can't handle it anymore.
just 42 months left till graduation, just 1260(?) more days and I'll be gone.
I'll be gone from all this shit and live the life I want.

Atleast that's what I hope

In the future

2011-11-18T13:39:00.000-08:00

A few minutes ago I decided I wasn't gonna blog about random stuff that's going on anymore because I know it's not interessting and boring. Instead of that I wanna start talking more about music, books, friendship, things that matter you know? Not the things that I did today, no, just the things that go through my mind and that I need to tell you.

How did I get this idea? Well, Dianna Agron inspired me. A few hours ago she asked us this on tumblr;

"Send me a message (to my inbox) with a few paragraphs about something artistic or a movie/book/song/album/life experience….things that means something to you….enough to want to write/share about it. Attach high res pictures or videos with sources. Treat it as a magazine submission. Stay positive. All part of You, Me & Charlie. Which is something you’ll know even more about soon! Perfect your answers, and send me the very best of what you’ve got! Also include a short bio and photo of yourself! X "

and so I did.

I talked about music and how important it is to me and that's when I realized how much I love writing.
You're probably thinking "but what you're doing now is writing too!". I know that but I didn't love it, it felt like a chore. But when I was writing that thing for Dianna, I actually had fun because I was writing about something that I KNOW and that I LOVE.

So yeah, those kind of blogs are the ones you're gonna be seeing here in the future.

Have a nice day :)

xxx Jana

What's going on lately?

2011-10-30T13:41:00.000-07:00

To answer that question, nothing. Nothing's going on, that's how boring my life is. What can I say? I have no life. But lately I've been getting new friends, correction, internet friends. I met a 2 amazing girls on Polyvore, one of them I met just a few days ago but I already consider her as a good friend and the other one...we have soooo many in commen, I think that if we met in real life we would be best friends.

Another thing I've been doing is figuring out my style. I realized my style is VERY season 2 Quinn Fabray and that since I lost the weight I can totally wear a body con dress, I'm so frickin' proud of myself! But anyways...I've also considered going blonde but my friends won't allow me and my sister said it wasn't a very good idea (she's a hairdresser BTW) so she's probably gonna give me blonde highlights wich I'm very excited about.

Oh! Before I forget, I made some new friends at school wich I think is great! I also have a new table at lunch with those new friends but unfortunatly we have to share it with weird people I dislike. I mean, seriously, they scare the hell out of me for some weird reason.

And I don't know if I told you but I've been thinking about sports I could do. I wanted cheerleading but my mom won't let me and then I thought batton twirling because my mom can't say no to that since she did that when she was younger but I can't find any clubs near my town. So now I'm probably gonna go ice skating or something cause I love it and I'm really good at it, and I think it's a good sport for a girl too ( even though I totally skate with ice hockey skates, lol I can't skate with regular skates xD)

The last thing I wanted to say is, I'm obsessed with Wicked lately. I don't know why but I just love the music and the plot and even though I never actually saw it I know I will love it. Also, I'm totally on Elphaba's side, just sayin' xD.

But yeah that was it for this blog, I have a huge headache so sorry if it's pretty lame but yeah...
Oh and if I don't survive Halloween, I love you! Don't forget that :)

xoxo Jana

the most random blog ever

2011-10-09T08:51:00.001-07:00

Before I start I just gotta say this will be the most random blog in the history of my bloggs...

Hey everyone :)
it been a while since my last blog, I apologize, it's just I have a really boring life so I never really know what to blog about.

Now the first thing I wanna talk about is my new skincare routine...blah blah blah it already sounds boring but I gotta tell you about the thing I have been using to keep my skin clear and pretty. It's Acneplus;

this thing is absolutely magical... I have been using it for about 3 weeks now and after the first weke my skin cleared up like that, seriously I'm not even kidding. The only annoying thing is that if you forget to use it one time your skin won't be as pretty the next day but for the rest I adore this thing. I definatley recommend this to everyone who has acne.

Now on to something else, have you people tried to curl your hair with a flatiron...It just won't work! I even burned myself :(
It doesn't matter how much I try it just doesn't work on me!

Oh oh oh I gotta inform you guys on my newest obsession xD
lately I've been really into anything that's girly so that means, fairytales, pink, dresses, braids, floral prints... really everything like that...
don't even ask me why xD

so that was my random post, really boring I know but I just don't wanna let this blog die :(

xoxo Jana

Proof of how weird me and my friends are

2011-09-19T10:31:00.000-07:00

Hey guys :)

So I don't think you know this about me but I'm NOT religious at all. Even though my school is part of a nunnery I'm not religious nor will I ever be. But today me and my friends thought it would be fun to create our own religion, we called it; Agronisme. Why? Because we're weird, that's why. Oh, and our godess is of cours Dianna Agron because we love her. Our New Year is April 30th, her birthday. Our holy place is the glee studio's and Savannah (lol you know, just like Mekka xD) our prayer is "Mary has a little lamb" and our holy animal is a lamb. Yes, I'm gonna convert you all! You can see how weird me and my friends really are and how much we love Dianna Agron, she's my rolemodel. Oh and our song is It's a mans world! Just sayin'.

Now over to the not so weird stuff, if that's possible...

Today was well, weird... My school is just weird, my city is weird, my COUNTRY is weird! Well, there are guys at my school who just annoy the hell out of me, they asked me where I got my boots and if I wanted to buy a leather jacked that matched them, I was like "What?!" And than there's also the thing with my best friend, that she's not allowed to switch classes so she's with me for all of our classes.

BTW, Glee is coming back tomorrow for all you Americans, for me it's wednesday, BOO HOO!!!! But yeah, don't spoil anything for me until I watched it, kay? :3

xoxo Jana

TAG: Things that my favorite character teached me

2011-09-16T12:30:00.000-07:00

Okay so basically it's just a tag where you have to pick a character that you love from a show that you love, it doesn't matter what show. And you write down 10 things (or more) that that character told you

Show: Glee
Favorite Character; Lucy Quinn Fabray :3

1. Stand up for what you believe in
She stood up for glee a few times, didn't she? :3
2. Being blond doesn't mean you're dumb
Yeah...I knew this before but still.
3. Girls are not less than guys
Quinn is a feminist and thanks to her I really started becoming one too. I mean seriously girls deserve the same rights as guys!
4. Never give up
I don't really know how to explain this but yeah...
5. Don't get pregnant when you're 15
lol pretty self explanatory
6. Don't cheat on your boyfriends cause karma will come and get you
To quote the lovely Quinn Fabray "First time I cheated I got pregnant second time I got mono, I think the universe is trying to tell me something."
7. Sometimes change can be good
She changed from being Lucy to being Quinn and I read so many people saying that it was horrible and that she didn't love herself but I understand why she did it. Would you like getting bullied everyday? Would you like coming home with tearfilled eyes EVERYDAY? I don't think so, she didn't want that to happen again that's why she changed, if she didn't get bullied she wouldn't have changed and I completly understand why she did it cause I've been there.
8. Don't be afraid to speak up
Quinn isn't afraid to speak her mind and she will open her mouth to sa what she thinks no matter if it hurts cause it's just the truth, I admire her for that :)
9. Being healthy is better than being popular
She told Mercedes to be healthy right? Well I think she's totally right because being healty is so much more important than being popular, don't you think?
10. Having friends that love you for who you are is better than being popular
Yes! Quinn would choose glee over anything because they are her real friends(I know she's not in the club in s3 but whatever) they were the only ones that didn't dump her when she got pregnant and the only ones that will always keep faith in her no matter what happens.

Of cours Quinn isn't perfect but I will love her no matter what. I just hope she's gonna be happy in season 3 cause she had so many horrible years it would kill me if this year was just as horrible :(

xoxo Jana

I wanna sleep forever!!!

2011-09-12T13:40:00.000-07:00

Okay so last night I found how terrible I really am. So I was sleeping and I guess it was around 11:30 and suddenly my dad was in my room (wich is weird cause he doesn't do stairs xD) and he was like "Jana...Jana." and I didn't wake up so he tapped my shoulder and I looked up at him 'Your mother doesn't feel good we're going to the hospital.' yeah so my mom had a heartattack two years ago and she thought she was having one again. My reaction 'huh' *continues to sleep* I'm so horrible! My mom could've died and I just fell asleep again. But thank god it was nothing and my mom is completely fine. Seriously, the house could've been burning I wouldn't even notice.

Oh and I think I missed the party of the year -.-
lol who cares I was having to many fun on my computer...see I have no life!!!!

I just wanted to post something that's why this is so short but since I have no life nothing interessting ever happens -.-

xoxo Jana

School picture day

2011-09-09T11:32:00.000-07:00

Today I had a pretty good day, actually. I got up, way to early so I could do my hair cause today was school picture day. I had my hair all pretty and Season2-Quinn-ish and it looked great and than I step outside, of cours it starts raining so my hair was pretty much ruined. During second period we had to take our school pictures of cours mine could never turn out like that picture ^ .During the first break, of cours I was talking to my super crazy freaky friends that I adore and of cours they had to tear down my dream of marrying Alex Pettyfer (lol that's like the only thing we talk about x])

And than after math (I think...) between classes I walked past the classroom of one of my besties and she was sitting next to a guy that me and my friends always thought would look cute with her and I was like totally freaking out "OMG I ALWAYS KNEW THERE WAS SOMETHING GOING ON BETWEEN THEM!!!" Than during English I was scared cause I don't like my teacher and during the last break I was soooooooo impatient for one of my friends to show up cause she transfered to another school and I missed her so much and than she didn't show up so I was so sad cause that ment I had to wait another hour. During 8th period I was dying of laughter cause I was sitting next to my BFF and she made me laugh the whole time, thank god we have a nice teacher. And than FINALLY school was over and I rushed outside and there was my friend but she didn't see me so I yelled at her and she totally freaked out "WHAAAAAAAA!!!!" and boom she pretty much jumped on top of me and almost broke my arms x]

Ooooh and the best part, I saw a super cute guy today. But since I suck at flirting I just walked past him lol x]

xoxo Jana

I swear I was in a Britney Spears video clip!

2011-09-05T10:28:00.000-07:00

Okay let's start with the interessting part of my day. Lol actually there was nothing interessting but whatever.

So we had a "free" period, okay i'm just gonna call this a free period even though it's not. So I was sitting in the class room and I was staring at the clock and ticking my pen against the table and my feet against the groud and than I started singing Hit Me Baby One More Time by Britney Spears in my head. And guess what I was wearing! A with/red top and a grey cardigan, coincidence much? Okay just watch this clip and know what I'm talking about.

Okay It was just awkward.

And than another awkward thing, I was fighting with my best friend about our ships. She ships Mint, a ship she made up herself it's Bridget Mendler and Rupert Grint and I ship Jalex wich is me and Alex Pettyfer. Yes I have a ship name don't judge me! And we were fighting about that eachothers ships will never happen and I was like 'My ship will happen it has more chance to happen!' and she was like 'That's not true he doesn't know you exist!' and that for almost and hour long. It was funny though, I will go down with Jalex just sayin'. I'M IN LOVE OKAY?!

I'm trying to keep this post good and positive so I'm not gonna put the rest of my day here cause it's slightly depressing and I don't wanna do that to you guys!

xoxo Jana

Freshman year....oh god

2011-09-02T11:18:00.000-07:00

(the picture pretty much explains how I'm feeling right now, it's from weheartit.com BTW)

Okay so yesterday was my firstday back to school and in American terms I'm a Freshman in Belgia terms I'm in my 3th year of high school. Let's just say it was hell. I'm serious. My classmates are bitches and justin bieber types and I seriously don't like any of them they all think they're the best (lol I hope they don't find this blog) And than there's also the problem I'm not in the same class as my best friend, well for some classes I am but it's complicated. I think my school is just trying to be more like an American school, wich I don't mind, I hope they add a football field... but the problem with that is we don't have a locker, you have to rent one and I don't feel like renting one cause they are super small and you can't even put your gym bag in there. This year happens to be the first year we don't have a homeroom (or whatever you people call it) and that sucks cause we have to go from classroom to classroom and I'm not used to that and those people made my schedule so annoying that I have to go from the first floor to the second than on the other side of the building the first floor and than back to the second floor.

okay so that was yesterday today was even worse.
Today we had our first classes cause yesterday was just introducing us to the class and our homeroom teacher. First class, Biology that was okay next SW I died. Yes, it was horrible! She gave us homework for the next week and my week is already filled with homework, IN 1 DAY! Next, I think we had French. Me and my best friend were lost and than when we finally sat down in class the teacher started speaking French, I think she talked dutch one or two times and I didn't understand anything from what she was saying. Next I think we had Dutch, that was actually okay, I liked the teacher she was nice and funny. Than we had lunch, my classmates are so arrogant and I actually have to sit with them, we can't choose where we sit or with who we sit, no, we sit with our classmates. The next classes we had were English, Math and Religion(is that the right word? I think so) English, was okay, I rock at English so that shouldn't be a problem, Math sucked, of course. Relgion was okay our teacher is pretty nice and cool.

I think this year should be bareble, except for the people in my class probably.
Well I guess this is it, this probably doesn't sound so bad to some people but I really wasn't prepared for this hell people last year said it was pretty okay, this is not pretty okay this is pretty horrible.

But yeah this is it, I'll probably be blogging alot more cause I like it and I love my new blog :)

xoxo Jana

Well hello there :3

2011-09-02T10:35:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone!
I'm Jana and introducing myself is super annoying cause I've been doing it all day already.
But basically, my name is Jana, I'm 14 years old and as you can probably tell I'm from Belgium.
Wanna know more? Just ask cause I'm gonna start blogging now :)